Hope<\/a>\u2019s fault. She is riding with me in the car this weekend. She doesn’t deserve the algae smell topped with dog hair flying around in the car.<\/p>\nI felt the need to eliminate the dog pond stink, dog hair and mountain of car dirt.
\nWhat a good person am I.<\/p>\n
I did wash the car outside too.<\/p>\n
Next was the free vacuum inside the car and dry mat cleaner machine.
\nCry<\/p>\n
I took the driver mat to the dry mat cleaner. It is a metal enclosed large stiff brush.
\nYou turn on the brush and lower your mat inside the metal enclosure. The brush rotates madly and \u201ccleans\u201d your mat. You can hold on to the mat. That is what I did.<\/p>\n
A tornado dust bowl came out the top of the metal enclosure into my face. The Wizard of Oz tornado would have been embarrassed. My hands were holding the mat. The brush was spinning. Gasp, choke, lungs. No where could my face be but in the path of the dust tornado!
\nIt takes an eternity for the brush to get rid of all that wondrous dirt from the mat. My face was covered with a fine mist of dust. \u00a0My freckles were wiped out. \u00a0I was a gray face with red dusty hair. Mat and I return to car where the vacuum is employed to suck up months and stuck mountains of dog hair, gravel and dirt on the front driver side.<\/p>\n
Next is back seat driver side mat. Choke, cough, snort and curse. Now the metal machine enclosure has a dirt coating. \u00a0The aluminum is no longer shiny. ick. \u00a0Back to deal with back driver side passenger dog hair carpet. \u00a0I got the top layer off.<\/p>\n
Next is to vacuum the driver side of van.<\/p>\n
Next is back of mini van. This has both dog hair and hay. Yes, I carried hay in the mini van. Hay spreads. It sticks to carpet. Vacuum hose and I battle the hay and dog hair. The dog hair wins.<\/p>\n
Next is back seat mat to the cleaner. A fierce battle ensues with me as victor. We return to car to vacuum dog hair and filth. Dog hair wins again!<\/p>\n
Oh Lordy the front passenger mat and I are in the final battle. I drop the mat in the machine and pull it out from the bottom. It has 4 inches of fluffy dog hair on it. What the heck? I battle the dog hair with my hands. Get off the mat! Where did all this come from?<\/p>\n
I lift the rubber piece at the bottom of the machine and look inside.
\nTwo inches of fine dirt on the floor of the machine.
\nFour inches of German Shepard dog hair on top of the fine dust.
\nI cry to myself.
\nThe whole machine and I are covered in dust.
\nMy lungs want oxygen<\/p>\n
My guilt is overwhelming. Occasionally, at least twice a year, I have negative guilty thoughts. This is it for the year. I want to confess my sin.<\/p>\n
Aha! There are young men cleaning the trash cans at the vacuum cleaner row. One young man is right beside my car.<\/p>\n
I walk over to him and scream, \u201cI have a German Shepard Dog! I let her ride in the car! I\u2019m so sorry!\u201d
\nHe says, \u201cit\u2019s ok mam.\u201d
\nI tearfully point to the dry mat cleaner, \u201cIt\u2019s full of dirt and dog hair! I\u2019m sorry\u201d!
\nMy face is covered in dirt dust with bleary blue eyes poking through.
\nHe said, It\u2019s OK mam. I\u2019ll clean it next.\u201d He smiles reassuring to me. I get in the car and he smiles to me again. I wipe my face and neck as I was backing out of the vacuum space.
\nMy sins have been forgiven
\nReturn home to take spouse out for dinner. Two recovery wines.<\/p>\n
Return home and take Emma out for run. I mow and she runs beside the mower. We go fast and far!<\/p>\n
Go inside house to find kitchen cabinet top missing everything. It\u2019s all on the floor courtesy of GSD.<\/p>\n
Emma knocked everything on the floor and ate many pieces out of my new bag of gummy Tums.<\/p>\n
Scream. What will this overnight adventure GSD Tums tummy bring!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Early this past year in Facebook I posted about my car wash grand experience with free vacuum and an amazing machine that cleans the floor dry mats. This story is not a grand experience. Lord help me. \u00a0I screamed at a worker to forgive my sins. I might have floor mat dust lung disease with no Black Lung-like federal program to help me. Dear God, I have a German Shepard who loves to swim in a stinkin\u2019 pond. I live on a gravel road. I think cleaning my car is…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5206","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-miscellaneous"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mofoxtrot.com\/viewpoint\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5206","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mofoxtrot.com\/viewpoint\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mofoxtrot.com\/viewpoint\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mofoxtrot.com\/viewpoint\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mofoxtrot.com\/viewpoint\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5206"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/mofoxtrot.com\/viewpoint\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5206\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5209,"href":"https:\/\/mofoxtrot.com\/viewpoint\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5206\/revisions\/5209"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mofoxtrot.com\/viewpoint\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5206"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mofoxtrot.com\/viewpoint\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5206"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mofoxtrot.com\/viewpoint\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5206"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}