The positive wondrous news is that I Sue and I went on a trail ride at the same place where she bolted, spilled her rider and became retraumatized fourteen months ago. On this month, we had a wonderful ride. I was with a calm gelding and his calm owner.
My plan was for the gelding to lead and we would follow, thus getting more and more confidence. My plan was thwarted right at the get go when the gelding refused to lead. To get the gelding to go, my riding partner would have had to raise her arms and swing the mecate to get to phase three or four. We both knew this wasn’t a good idea with Sue. So Sue and I took the lead and never faltered except for one head-up startle. We had a good time, indeed.
The low was an Impulsion clinic this Saturday. We had eight riders in the arena. the riders made noise and some of them swung carrot sticks around. Rain was beating on the roof. In the three hour morning ride, Sue and I had at least 15 mini bolts down the rail and 50 skin-inside-out flinches and at least 100 tense-up/bolt-coming times.
I managed to relax enough on the bolts so I could bend her instead of knee-jerk reaction-pull-back on the reins. That was a big plus for my emotional fitness.
Near the lunch break Jenny told me that usually Sue relaxes by now and it’s probably the rain that kept her tense. My good friend looked at me when Sue did her startle flinch and told me that she admired me for what I was doing.
It was then that my insides started to cry….and then it was lunch time. I was so tired at lunchtime that I took a nap during a lecture that Jenny gave us after lunch. I slept in a chair without a headrest. That was suspicious.After lunch, I thought perhaps I had recovered.
I got on Sue after lunch and after one big flinch, it was all over for me. I was an emotional strung out mess. I got off.Jenny got on Sue and stood around on her the rest of the clinic. Every now and then as Jenny was talking, she gestured at something and Sue startled the opposite way.
There were times when it appeared horses were coming straight at Sue. Sue tensed, but didn’t bolt away.I noted that it doesn’t look all that bad.
What I was feeling all morning was the impact of huge bursts of electrical charged fear drilled into to me. It had been multiple instant Right Brain and then back to left brain for Sue and I.
After the clinic I could hardly drag myself out to the trailer. Upon reaching home, I could barely drag my body to and from the barn and then walk to the house. I was more exhausted than I remember for a long time.
You know what it was…it was the adrenalin that shot through my body all those times on that day. I had so many right brained episodes that it used up all my energy and then some. That’s why I teared up…my body was drained of energy. I was drained at noon!
I would hate to feel like that a lot. I surely sympathize with horses and humans that have to go through that. It’s just hell. Life goes on with a project horse.